10 Successful Tips to Love

Introduction & other such things.

Let me start by saying that this isn’t some sort of bible that you need to follow word for word, hymn for hymn or however else, this is just a list of things I personally find are successful when pursuing your crush, or your acquaintance at the local Starbucks, or your reading-buddy, or your neighbourhood dog-walker, or the one you Skype with till 5 AM or just the person you’re ruthlessly stalking. 

I have many family & friends who struggle with relationships & hopefully this help could them & help you (my little followers) out! - I don’t have any followers, really. 

#do not stalk anyone

These tips are in no particular order, however they are all important things to keep in mind.

Tip #1: Have an open mind. 

I can’t say this enough, if you live your life painting that “perfect picture” of your future, chances are it will never become a reality. Start to see people differently, not for their flaws, but for their good qualities. If you live your life with high-standards, chances are those standards will never be fulfilled. Sure, keep some of the basics, but be more open-minded, and compromise. Just because someone doesn’t seem perfect at first, doesn’t mean you won’t find the perfect in them later on. 

You will be attracted to more people if you look for the good in them, I’m sure of it. You never know, you may find love where you least expect it - so don’t expect it.

Tip #2: Sharing common interests.

This isn’t necessarily regarding appearance. Although this may include appearance, this is regarding other attributes, including personality, habits, goals, beliefs, interests, style-choices, musical interests, dreams, feelings, family-situation, childhood memories, &/or anything else you are interested in. 

I’m not telling you to give your possible “love-interest” a series of multiple-choice questionaire(s) in hopes that they’ll circle the letter “C” every time, I would just like to say that its good to get to know the person before you get inside their pants/hearts.

*If you are physically attracted to someone without any personal connection & you are looking for a physical relationship & only a physical relationship, then by all means skip these tips, however, if you are looking for love, its important to bond. 

If you are physically attracted to someone & you share the same interests, then that’s all there is too it, get to smooching. Its good to have things in common, & to be attracted to the same things, that way you’ll always be satisfied in the relationship (for the most part) if you want the same things. There are little differences that you may have that may either build or break down the relationship or won’t affect your relationship at all, but it isn’t necessarily a bad thing to have differences-no one wants to date themselves, do they? (I don’t). 

Tip #3: Independency & goals.

Unless you’re as lifeless as a rock, I’m going to assume you have some interests in life, right? So, does it not make sense to be attracted to someone who is also interested in life/succeeding in life? I’m hoping you agree with me so far. Anyhow, this next tip seems rather basic, BUT its very important.

You do not want to date someone who depends on you, right? It is good to be in a strong relationship where both partners have their own goals/dreams that they would like to pursue. Not only is it very healthy, its also very attractive for someone to be interested in something.

If it gets to the point where your relationship is taking away from whatever it is you want to do, perhaps take a step back, take a few deep breaths and re-evalute your situation. Do not let go of what you believe in for the one you love, if it is going to affect your overall happiness. If you had a childhood dream of being a fireman, and you’ve held onto that dream this far, why give it up for a boy/girl in a pair of Converse? Keep independence in your relationship, and do not become clingy/obsessed, same goes for your partner.

Don’t forget:  There is life outside of love. 

Tip #4: Mutual feelings.

This tip is a good place to start any relationship. Be sure that you are attracted & that your possible-partner is also attracted. If you are sure there is connection, chemistry, sparks between the two of you then get going, but if you are unsatisfied in your relationship, or unsure of your feelings for this person, this may not be something to pursue. If your partner/possible-partner seems unhappy with you, then the relationship will not continue on a happy note, for both of you will complain & want to leave as soon as you can. In other words: there will be no relationship.

Tip #5: Confidence is a big thing. 

You will experience a much more fulfilling relationship if you/your partner are confident in your lives. We all know that confidence is attractive, because its something we all want & once we have it, its another charming attribute to add to our lavalife info. 

We all understand as humans, that people go through experiences that affect their outlook on life/themselves, but there is a point where the suffering must end. If our partners are always crying or depressed, chances are that will dampen our moods, which doesn’t bring any positivity into our lives. I am not saying that you should ditch your partner if they’re constantly listening to “Last Kiss” by Taylor Swift & crying into their pillow, give them a chance, but if it gets to a point where you don’t want to be around this person any longer, you don’t have to. Low self-esteem can be a really unattractive quality in someone, & even though you may be the one to change their outlook on life, don’t let it ruin yours. 

Tip #6: Avoid arrogance/ego-maniacs. 

Contrary to the previous tip, there is a fine line between confidence & arrogance. Avoid your crush if they are cocky, over-the-top, self-obsessed &/or conceited. Do not dismiss your crush if they are confident, however, forget about that boy/girl always needing the spotlight or a chance to talk about themselves. Here is a good way to tell if someone is confident instead of arrogant: They are interested in hearing about you & not interested in you hearing about them. 

Tip #7: Honesty in your relationship.

There is no reason for you to be attracted to a liar, am I right? Yes, yes I am. What is the point of being in a relationship with someone who is willing to keep secrets from you, lie to your face & avoid the truth at all costs? There is none. Why would anyone want to be with someone they couldn’t tell their deepest darkest secrets to? You may not tell your friends everything, but with your love, its hard to keep anything from them. Honesty builds the foundation of a relationship, it sets you apart from just a crush, it brings you into someone’s heart. You want to be able to share everything with one person & the ability to do so, is love. 

Tip #8: Affection is key. 

No one wants to be in a relationship where they can’t kiss their love on the cheek without getting all cute-sy & giddy, at least in my opinion. In a relationship its a good thing to want to make out with your lover all the time, to want to kiss the one you’re with on the lips whenever Fez says something funny on That 70’s Show. Its a great feeling to want to hold your partner in your arms and look into their eyes. Its a wonderful feeling to want to be with the one you love & without that, the love isn’t really there.

Tip 9: Do not change who you are for your partner, unless you’re also changing for yourself. 

This tip is key for a satisfying/fulfilling relationship. Do not, I repeat do not become someone you’re not to be with someone you love. Yes, there may be times where you change in the relationship, but do not change for the one you’re with unless you also benefit from this change. For example, do not start listening to Heavy Metal unless you also enjoy the genre, do not start to drink alcohol or other substances unless its something you’re comfortable doing & its your choice. Of course we may look up that cheesy love song that are partner is obsessed with, then Google the lyrics & memorize them so next time they mention the song you can serenade them with it, but I am just stating the fact that doing things that you are not comfortable/interested in, can leave you feeling unsatisfied or even in danger. Take caution, always. 

Tip #10: Intimacy & romance. 

I know that a lot of people are putting out these days, but that doesn’t mean you have to! Sharing sex/privacy with one person is a great feeling, its a way to escape, its something only the two of you can share & it will bring you both closer. In most cases intimacy will make your relationship stronger & more fulfilling sharing this together. You will appreciate intimacy more if its with the one you love & not some hot boy on the Basketball team. There are little things you & your partner share that stop the world, that are your little secrets, the ways you look at each other, the way your eyes light up whenever you see each other, or the way you feel when you’re alone together. Don’t let go if this feeling, its the spark that will light the fire.

Conclusion & ending notes.

As I said before, this isn’t something you need to take in word for word, or even read, I thought it would just be fun to post. What can I say, being a proud enforcer of love for my partner, its something I thought I’d want to post up here. I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you didn’t mind reading a long list of things that may not even apply to you, either way, thanks. 

M.